The End Justifies the Means
by AaronSec
Summary: Is it enough? Can I live with you even through everything I have done? Do I deserve to? (Sorry not good with summaries).


"Hey babe, what's for dinner?"

I silently looked at her as she walked in, lost in thought. Tenten walked over and gave me a kiss on the cheek, wide smile spread on her face. She radiated happiness, content.

So why wasn't I like that?

"...babe? Neji? Helloooo?"

Tenten's hand waving in front of my face dragged me into focus, "sorry, what?"

She looked concerned and for a short instant rage filled my chest. My eyes narrowed in annoyance and I thinks my lips. 'No, this is ridiculous. Snap out of it, she didn't even do anything.'

But that's the problem isn't it?

"...stir-fry."

It came out sounding strangled.

"Oh.. ok. Well I'll just...wash up?"

"Great." Sarcasm just flowed right out and the annoyance turned towards me.

'How childish can I get! Grow up!'

I went through the motions of setting the table and serving each plate. And before I knew it she was sitting in front of me again. I gripped my fork in my fist and glared down at my plate. 'Shit, it won't go away! Calm down. Keep your mouth shut.'

"...and I saw Lee today. He was passing through the offi-"

My head snapped up in shock, "What.."

"My day, I was telling you about the meeting today and-"

"Not that." I snapped, "who did you see?" My heart pounded hard in my chest. The flutter of love it had been before was replaced by this painful feeling, as if I were smashing my own heart. I couldn't breathe.

Something flashed in her eyes, "Lee, he was...passing through."

Breathless I pushed for more, "And?"

This time irritation twisted her features, "And what. That's it. He passed through, I said hi and he walked right back out."

A bitter taste filled my mouth, her mood made me angrier, "Right. Because all he is, is a passing phase. Easily forgotten right."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!"

I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, I couldn't look at her. I just wanted it to be done!

"Hey! You got something to say, come out and say it! What now you want to be quiet? Tell me what the fuck is wrong with you!"

Tenten got up from her chair and came towards me. 'No! Don't touch me!' She stopped just before and waited. Her presence seemingly putting more pressure on the already suppressed feelings. I looked up at her slowly and her face said it all. I was overreacting, I was being stupid.

'But I'm not!'

I stood up and let it go and all that came out was, "I know."

She understood what I meant, her stance slacked and she was shocked.

"You...don't. Don't you dare..."

"Don't I dare what! I know you've been talking to him! To your damned ex!"

Tenten steeped back, "No! You don't get to do this Neji!"

I sneered at her, "Do what?"

Trembling, she looked up at me with tear filled eyes, "You don't get to say that I am unfaithful."

"Oh so you admit it? Fuck I knew you were no good." I scoffed and brushed past her intending to go pack my things. Her arm grabbed me and pulled hard right before a slap sounded out. Tears fell slowly down her cheeks as my face stung from her hit,

"Fuck you. I didn't cheat. The only one capable of cheating here is you. He is my past and no matter what I am with you now, not him."

That. There she did it again. "Say it." I demanded. She looked confused.

"Say it like it is! He. Is. Your. Ex."

Her gaze dropped. She couldn't do it. "Shit, are you kidding me?" I was furious.

"I.."

"You can't do it? That's what he is! Why won't you say it!" I stepped up to her in my anger. She flinched back and I felt drained. 'I love her, she is my everything. Why couldn't he just disappear!'

Slumping back into the chair she sighed, "I love you. I am in love with you, Neji," Was it enough? "He isn't my ex," I heard my heart break and my mind left me, "he is something that may have gone and passed but is by no means over." Her voice cracked, "I-I will always have a smile for him. Because no matter the situation, he isn't so clean cut."

Tenten curled into herself as she started sobbing. I looked at her again, "But please...please believe me when I say he may have been my beginning, but you? You are my ending. I want you for the r-rest of my l-life. Please."

It didn't leave. That empty feeling that used to be my heart for her. I closed my eyes and thought back, we were good. We had been good. I brought it up even after all I myself had put her through. Even after all my mistakes she took me back. How? How did she do it?

'I can't.'

Stepping forward again I wrapped her in my arms. She melting into me and for a moment I remembered that feeling. She was mine in this moment and in all the moments since the start. But...why?

I pushed her back a bit and cradled her face in my hands wiping away her tears, 'I did this to her. Again, I hurt her.' Looking deep into her eyes I found my answer. My smile seemed to finally match her own from when she came home and I pulled her into a sweet kiss.

Pulling back my tears fell steadily matching her own, "I can't."

And I walked away.

Later on ran through those moments over and over again, thought back to the start and the end. I knew she loved me and I knew she had left him behind for good when she was with me. But the knowing of some part of her never being mine wasn't enough for me. I am horrible, a despicable human being.

But a human nonetheless.

I hope someday I can be like her, able to split my heart and remain a decent person. I cheated and I ran like a coward from the one that truly loved me. This will haunt me forever. All I can do for her is let her be my ending too. My whole rotten heart will never be anyone else's and with this I wait for the finish.


End file.
